Mosaic Broken Hearts
by dd.01
Summary: Bella has spent her whole life in Forks with her family and has been dating Paul for over a year. What happens when he makes the change and refuses contact with her? She gets a call from an agent in Nashville and has to relocate for her dream. She returns, scarred physically and emotionally to finish school. Will he imprint? A lot has changed in two short years. M for lang
1. What Else Can I Do

**Title: Mosaic Broken Hearts**

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**Full Summary: Bella has spent her whole life in Forks with her dad and three brothers. She is dating Paul and couldn't be happier until one day Paul goes through the change and won't have any contact with her. When a label from Nashville calls Bella and asks her to move her life for her dream, she agrees, thinking her and Paul are over. In Nashville Bella encounters a new school, a new job, new relationships, a handsome Cullen, and even wolves. Bella returns to Forks many times during her record production due to tragic death and life-threatening injuries. What happens when Paul sees her again? Will he imprint? A lot has changed when Bella returns for good to finish school just a short two years later.**

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**Family Relations:**

Swan Family= Bella, Jaxon, Isaac, Tucker, Charlie

Lahote Family= Paul, Claire, Laura, Pam (mom)

Black Family= Jake, Rachel, Billy

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**Disclaimer: I do not own any Twilight character or scene that you recognize. I also do not own ANY of the songs I use in this story. I will periodically change the lyrics and will note this change with an asterisk* and explain the change at the end of the chapter.**

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**Chapter One: What Else Can I Do**

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**Bell POV**

Life has a funny way of surprising you. Sneaking up on you, doing a 180, dropping you through a secret door…I've always believed these things were good…that they helped you grow as a person and took your life in the direction it was meant to go in. I never say never…anything can happen.

I'm not so sure anymore.

I know I'm young…about to finish my first semester of grade ten. What do girls my age really know about life? Not a lot… the basics really. I know right from wrong, I know my religious beliefs and my moral compass. I know how to cook and clean…how to follow directions. And I know how I feel. Unfortunately…that's what got me into this mess.

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"_I can't believe I just did that… oh my god…" I whispered to my computer screen. I watched as the message went from sent to read and I held my breath. Why did I just do that? Why…why would I ever tell a guy I like him through Facebook… I saw him start to type back and I closed my eyes. I just couldn't help it. We've been flirting back and forth for forever now…we have the same friends…hang out every single day… and it just came over me. I needed to get it off my chest. But now? I was gearing up to start high school in a month and here I go and make things even more awkward._

_I'm currently sitting in my room in Franklin, Tennessee, visiting my mom and Phil for a few weeks at the end of summer vacation. I spend the majority of my year with my dad in Forks but there are a few weeks of the year over Christmas and summer vacation that I come to Tennessee. My mom and Phil live here because Phil is an engineer and is stationed here. I heard the message bing onto my computer and kept my eyes closed. I took a deep, slow breath and opened my eyes. And there it was…plain as day…_

"_I like you too. :D"_

* * *

I smiled, remembering how I had felt in that moment. It had been incredible… everything had come together so beautifully. That was August 5th and I had returned to Forks August 20th.

Of course that led to a relationship that apparently everyone had seen coming…except us. Which is generally the way it works, isn't it? All the friends and parents can see it and the lovebirds are blind to it all. I was quite surprised given our age difference…he was fifteen and I was thirteen but when you hang out all the time that seems to fade into the background. Of course that sounds young…but we both have a late birthday in December. So I was almost fourteen. It had started out so innocent…just holding hands and hugs…which grew as we did. The relationship as a whole was rough…but what relationship doesn't have ups and downs? It wasn't always easy and it wasn't always fair but we always stayed true to who we were and how we felt. It was magical…completely crazy insane…and that's why it was beautiful. We grew separately…and yet together. That's why every touch…every kiss…every word was stuck in my head.

I had switched to school on the res in grade school and had continued through high school so I could be with my friends. There were quite a few of us that had hung out. Myself, my twin brother Isaac, Leah, Jake, Quil, and Claire are all the same age, now sixteen, Isaac and I had our birthdays a few days ago on December 11th,. Everyone calls us the babies because we are the last to catch up to our friends and it happens so late in the year.

We are also friends with Embry, who is a year older than us and currently in grade eleven. Then there is Paul, Jared, and Rachel who are all two years older and in grade twelve. And then there is Sam, Laura, and my oldest brother Jaxon who are already graduated. Paul and Jared hang out with Jax though which is why the ages mesh together so well.

I could never forget my little one. My baby brother Tucker, who is thirteen right now and in grade eight. He's my little man. Twins have an unbreakable bond…and there is a special relationship between older brother/younger sister…but Tuck and I have a special relationship too. He's closer to me than our brothers.

I looked to the family portrait on the wall in my room and smiled. There was my dad, Jax, Isaac, Tuck, and myself, all smiling beautifully for the camera. It was a tradition to get these done every year and I had them all up on my wall. See, Isaac and I are the children of Renee and Charlie, Jaxon is the son of Charlie and a woman my dad used to date. She was a Quileute woman he went to school with before he met my mom. She had died giving birth to him. Tuck was the love child of a fling my dad had with a woman after he and my mom split. She didn't want the baby, but my dad did. She agreed to keep the pregnancy as long as she could give him full custody and he wouldn't ask her for anything. Being the loving man my dad is…he agreed. A lot of people don't know that that's how it went down…but I do. And I love him more for it. That's also why Tuck and I are so close. He never had a mom…and I'm the maternal figure in his life. I sighed hearing Tuck and Isaac fighting over the PS3 downstairs. I turned my head to my nightstand and saw the picture of us. The last thing I see before I close my eyes at night and the first thing I see when I open them in the morning. _Him._

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"_Sorry sweetie, he isn't feeling very well today. I think it's just the flu though so I'll get him to call you later, alright?" I thanked Pam and hung up the phone. His mom was so sweet…I really liked her. She was very involved and loving, accepted me as part of the family from long ago. I sighed and went up to my room. I couldn't keep the smile from my face even if I didn't get to talk to him today. I'm totally love struck. It's only been a few weeks since we…you know. He had been so patient with me…I know I'm not his first…but he was mine. And he made it so special for me. _

_Our relationship hasn't always been so amazing…but there were a few key moments for me. _

_3 – when we confessed our feelings for each other._

_2 – our first time._

_1 – the first and only time he told me he loved me._

_I know…it's odd to hear. Dating for almost one year and four months…you'd think the word love would have come around more than once. But not with him…you see…he doesn't come from the most loving household. It's just him, his mom, and his two sisters. His dad took off years ago. Truth be told…he's afraid. He doesn't want to end up like his parents…and so he hides in himself. That's why he comes off like such a dick most days but…I know the real him. He only brings out the true him for his family and I…and that's something I cherish more than any "I love you"...almost. I'll always hold the one he did give me close to my heart._

_It's Saturday and I had spent the day with Isaac and Jax in Port Angeles window-shopping for gift ideas for our birthdays. We got home about an hour ago and Jax left to his friend Sam's place and Dad and Tuck were at a karate tournament. It's something they do together. I now sit in my room bored, thinking about today. The whole day I'd had many things on my mind. _

_Love…doubt…insecurities…perfection…and him. So I decided to whip out my guitar. No one was home except Isaac…and he's used to it. I began scribbling furiously in my songbook and didn't stop until the words were just perfect. As perfect as he is. I smiled to my finished product a few hours later and played it once through, happiness and love filling my heart._

"_I'm walking fast through the traffic lights / Busy streets and busy lives / And all we know / Is touch and go / We are alone with our changing minds / We fall in love 'til it hurts or bleeds or fades in time_

_And I never saw you coming / And I'll never be the same_

_You come around and the armor falls / Pierce the room like a cannon boom / Now all we know is don't let go / We are alone, just you and me / Up in your room and our slates are clean / Just twin fire signs / Four brown eyes*_

_So you were never a saint / And I've loved in shades of wrong / We learn to live with the pain / Mosaic broken hearts / But this love is brave and wild_

_And I never saw you coming / And I'll never be the same_

_This is a state of grace / This is the worthwhile fight / Love is a ruthless game / Unless you play it good and right / These are the hands of fate / You're my Achilles heel / This is the golden age of something good and right and real_

_And I never saw you coming / And I'll never be the same_

_And I never saw you coming / And I'll never be the same_

_This is a state of grace / This is the worthwhile fight / Love is a ruthless game_

_/ Unless you play it good and right"_

* * *

I sat here looking at that picture…remembering the song I had written only three short weeks ago. How could so much have changed since then…

"Hey Bells…how're ya feelin?" I looked to the door to see Jax and I shrugged.

"Fine I suppose." He sighed and sat at the foot of my bed, facing me.

"Fine?" He asked with a chuckle. I looked to him. "If this is fine I'd like to know what terrible is." I couldn't help the smirk on my face. I shook my head and hit him with a pillow.

"Don't make me smile when I'm sad!" I told him and he chuckled.

"Sorry." He told me with a smirk.

"So maybe I'm not 'fine'. Maybe…I'm terrible." He shrugged.

"You're entitled." He told me. I sighed again.

"I just…don't understand it. How can things go from being so great…to so horrible…in a matter of two weeks?" He sighed and came to sit beside me.

"Bells…I don't know what to tell you. All I can say is…wait it out. Things will get better…maybe he just needs a bit of space for now. What is a few weeks in relation to a year and…what is it now?"

"Four months." I supplied and he nodded.

"Exactly. Just be patient. Things will turn around." I let him hug me and I sighed into his warm skin. He always knew what to say and how to make me feel better. Not as good as Isaac…but Isaac was more real with me. He had told me this morning: _"Shit happens and shit will always happen. You didn't need him before, you don't need him now, and if things smooth themselves out that's a bonus."_

I had laughed of course…many people would have thought that was a horrid thing to say but really…it was the most thoughtful. He's right…I don't _need_ him. I'm sitting here breathing right now…heart still beating – without him. But…I _want_ him. He makes life better. He's a bonus I never wanted to give up.

Jax gave me a kiss on the temple and left the room, closing the door. I looked to my songbook on the bed in front of me and sighed, flipping to the very next page. How could two entries be any more different… any more heartbreaking?

* * *

_Here I sat in my room, on the floor against the door, allowing the night to settle into my skin. I could feel the makeup smudged on my cheeks as the wet tears itched my face. I was all dressed up in __a three-quarter sleeved beige, lace dress with an opaque underlay and sweetheart neckline. The sheer lace produced a bateau neckline and it scooped in the back. The dress had a pencil skirt with feathers on hem. It zipped up the back and went to my knee. We had decided to get dressed up for our sweet sixteen. Everyone came in formal wear and it was fun…I had been looking forward to it for more reasons than one._

_This was the night…he had told me. It had felt like so long since I had seen him…heard from him. A few days ago he had gotten fed up I think. I had called his house once again because it had been two and a half weeks since I had called and his mom told me he was sick. I hadn't heard from him since the night before that. This time was similar to all the other times I had called…his mom answered and said he wasn't in or he wasn't feeling well…blah blah blah. But this time he came to the phone._

_He had told me he needed space and that he couldn't explain. But he had told me, clarity in his deep, shaking voice._

"_I'll be there, Red. I won't miss your birthday. I promise."_

_Except now I sit here on my bedroom floor, crying into my hands, my eyeliner and red lipstick smearing as I wiped my face. He never showed. After everyone had left he had called…it was brief and gruff. _

"_I'm sorry I didn't make it." I had inhaled so deep…closed my eyes._

"_Yeah…I'm sorry too." And with that, he hung up without another word._

* * *

I hated it. I hated feeling this way. I looked to the song I had written in the last two days…it spoke to my confusion…and yet…my understanding. I grabbed my guitar and strummed it softly…digging for some kind of answer in my action.

"_You should've been there, / Should've burst through the door, / With that 'baby I'm right here' smile, / And it would've felt like, / A million little shining stars had just aligned, / And I would've been so happy._

_Christmas lights glisten, / I've got my eye on the door, / Just waiting for you to walk in, / But the time is ticking, / People ask me how I've been / As I comb back through my memory, / How you said you'd be here, / You said you'd be here._

_And it was like slow motion, / Standing there in my party dress, / In red lipstick, / With no one to impress, / And they're all laughing, / As I'm looking around the room, / But there's one thing missing, / And that was the moment I knew._

_And the hours pass by, / Now I just wanna be alone, / But your close friends always seem to know / When there's something really wrong, / So they follow me down the hall, / And there in the bathroom, / I try not to fall apart, / And the sinking feeling starts, / As I say hopelessly, / "He said he'd be here."_

_And it was like slow motion, / Standing there in my party dress, / In red lipstick, / With no one to impress, / And they're all laughing, / And asking me about you, / But there was one thing missing, / And that was the moment I knew._

_What do you say / When tears are streaming down your face / In front of everyone you know? / And what do you do when the one / Who means the most to you / Is the one who didn't show?_

_You should've been here. / And I would've been so happy._

_And it was like slow motion, / Standing there in my party dress, / In red lipstick, / With no one to impress, / And they're all standing around me singing / "Happy birthday to you", / But there was one thing missing, / And that was the moment I knew._

_Ooh, I knew. / Ooh,_

_You called me later, / And said, "I'm sorry, I didn't make it," / And I said, "I'm sorry too," / And that was the moment I knew."_

Sitting here in my room I had a huge choice to make and no one else knew it. He had always encouraged me and told me I'd make it one day…told me I wasn't going to be somebody…that I **am** somebody. I always felt important with him. I always felt needed and necessary. Every choice, every action…I always knew he was up for the ride. But now…I had no idea what the future held.

I had gotten a call yesterday. A lovely woman named Deb was on the phone and told me that a scout had listened to a CD I had sent out a while back and a record label wanted to meet with me. They offered to fly me out tomorrow to Nashville.

So here I am, my dream at my fingertips…and I'm not jumping for joy. Why? Because of _him_. How can I just leave without consulting him? Without figuring out where we stand? But how could I not go? I think he'd be happy for me…but who's to say anymore? I'm not even sure we are still together. He wont answer my texts or calls…he's never online… it's like he vanished.

I can't let myself give this up. I need to confirm my flights and tell my family. I'd been waiting to tell them because…well…I'm confused enough as it is without more opinions and suggestions. I put my guitar on my bed and headed downstairs. I went straight to the phone. One last try.

Like always it rang and rang. His mom didn't answer anymore. After 18-20 rings I hung up and walked into the living room.

"Still no answer?" My dad asked from his spot in his recliner. I shook my head and leaned on the back of the couch where Isaac and Tuck were sitting playing their PS3. Jax sat on the floor. He gave me a reassuring smile and I sighed, getting their attention.

"Guys I…I uh…have something to tell you." Isaac paused the game and they all turned to face me, confusion showing on their faces. My dad looked terrified.

"Bella I swear to God. If you say you're pregnant I'm going over there and kicking his ass." I was momentarily shocked before laughing genuinely for the first time in a few weeks. I shook my head.

"Dad, no!" The guys chuckled too but they did look oddly relieved. I sighed and got back on track.

"Yesterday…I got a phone call. It was…a scout. In Nashville. A label wants to meet with me in two days. I'll be flying out tomorrow." They all looked at me in shock until Isaac broke the silence by jumping over the couch and spinning me around.

"Holy fucking fuck!" He yelled and I laughed. He took my face in his hands and smiled.

"I knew you'd get there, B." I looked to the rest of my family who greeted me with hugs and congratulations. They were all very happy for me.

"How long will you be gone, Bella?" My dad asked.

"Well right now they just want to meet up. But if it goes well…I'll be moving there for a bit. He nodded and gave me another hug.

"What are you going to do about Paul?" Jax asked me. My heart ached at his name. My Paul. The guy I love with all my heart…

"What else can I do?" I told him as a tear rolled down my cheek. I've done all I can…I need to go to Nashville.

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**There you have it guys! Chapter 1! Just to note, I did change the lyrics to the song State of Grace by Taylor Swift the line reads *"**_**Just twin fire signs / Four blue eyes"* **_**and I changed it to "**_**Just twin fire signs / Four brown eyes*"**_

**I hope you enjoyed this chapter, it was just introductory to get the story moving. **

**Read and Review!**

**Songs: State of Grace – Taylor Swift**

**The Moment I Knew – Taylor Swift**


	2. Let Her Be Happy

**Chapter Two: Let Her Be Happy**

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**Bella POV**

That's how I got here…standing in the airport saying goodbye to my family. I'd already said goodbye to my friends. They were sad to see me go…but they were supportive. They hadn't had any contact with Paul since he started acting so strange and told me the basic reassuring things. _"He's a tool." "It's his loss." _Etc. It wasn't necessary…but I appreciated the effort.

Leah and Claire took it hardest of all my friends. I've never been so close with two people I'm not related to. These girls…have been my everything since I was just 3 years old. We've known each other all our lives and now we'd be apart for the first time…non-temporarily. It was a little awkward to say goodbye to Claire…I felt really bad about not telling her the news sooner but I had my reasons. She's Paul's younger sister. I didn't want this to be the reason Paul contacted me…so I didn't want him to know.

She's been really upset about Paul letting things fall apart between us but she's just as confused as I am. She said he hasn't been home much. Her mom acts like everything is normal but everything is so upside down. I had met up with the girls early this morning to tell them the news and say goodbye. There were many tears shed…but I promised I'd be back again soon, even if the meeting with the label went well.

"I'm gonna miss you B." Isaac said as he hugged me. Isaac is the one person in this whole world that I've never been apart from…ever. We're twins… we just don't do things without one another. Weeks in Franklin, trips, school, friends…we do everything together. I pulled back and felt the tears prick at my eyes as I stared back at his identical brown ones.

"Don't even." I whispered as I threw myself back into his embrace. I never thought it would be this hard…

"Hey now…we'll talk all the time. I'll even come visit if you stay there long term." He told me and I nodded against his shoulder. "Go make me proud Isabella." He whispered and I gave him one last tight squeeze before turning to Jaxon. He pulled me in for a hug and rubbed his warm hand on my back.

"Ugh. I'm going to miss this." I told him as he pulled back, giving me an odd look.

"You're just so warm. You're like a heated security blanket." I told him and he chuckled pulling me close again.

"One more for good luck then." He told me and pulled back with a wink. "Now be careful, stay safe. I don't want to have to come down there." He said with a smirk and I smiled back. He was one of those tough guys…you know. Gruff like my dad. Didn't say much when it came to how he felt but it was all right there in the eyes that mirrored my father's. He loved me a lot. I was the only girl in the family and he treated me like a tough princess. Not in need of coddling…but delicate and important just the same.

"I'll be careful." I told him with a smile. I turned to my dad who was smiling with pride. He was so excited for me. He gave me a tight hug and let go, leaving his hands on my shoulders.

"Let me know when you get there…you're mom and Phil should be waiting at the airport to pick you up." I nodded with a smile. He cleared his throat a bit and pulled me in for another hug.

"I love you, Bells." He whispered and I felt my throat swell with emotion. He never said things like that. It was always implied…just never really spoken. Kind of why my dad and mom fell apart.

"I love you too dad." I whispered back. I pulled back and turned to Tucker. My brother-child. He was fighting tears and I pulled him in really close.

"Don't be sad, Tuck. I'm always here. I'm just a phone call away, alright? You need _anything_, you call." I felt him nod against my shoulder.

"I'm gonna miss you, Bella." He whispered and I hugged him tighter.

"I'll miss you too Tuck. We'll talk everyday, I promise. I love you, Tuck. To the moon and back. You're my happiness little man." He nodded again and I pulled away and kissed his cheek. It was an inside thing we shared. Happiness would be impossible without each other. I wiped my eyes one last time and grabbed my carry on that Jaxon handed to me.

"I love you guys." I told them with a smile and I got a round of smiles and I love you's back. With that I turned on my heel with one last wink to Tucker and boarded the plane. I found my seat and looked out the window to the snow-covered runway.

It would most likely be the same in Nashville…but that's alright. The cold never bothered me.

* * *

I knocked on the door, nervously shaking. I waited patiently for the door to open, revealing a man in a nice suit.

"Hello! You must be Isabella Swan. Come on in!" He opened the door more for me to enter the room, closing it behind me. "My name is Mike Fletcher, this is Bob Cloutch, and Rebecca Heatherington." I shook his hand, as well as Bob's and Rebecca's.

"It's nice to meet you." I said with a nod. "This is my mom, Renee." I introduced my mom and they shook her hand as well.

"Lovely to meet you both. Please sit down." Mike told us and we sat in the seats across the big table from them. I looked around and saw poster after poster around the room of album covers that have been signed by artists. I immediately felt my palms start to sweat from the anxiety.

"I hope the meeting wasn't too short notice." Mike said and I shook my head.

"No, I was finished school for the semester so I don't have much else to do." He chuckled and nodded.

"Good, good. Could we get you two anything? Coffee? Tea?" I shook my head, too nervous to put anything in my stomach. My mom politely declined.

"Alrighty, down to business! We received a CD of yours, Bella, from a scout named Gerard. He got hold of it and thought it deserved another opinion." I nodded and felt my chest closing in on itself. I took another deep breath, waiting for him to continue. "I have to admit, Bella. We liked what we heard." I felt a huge smile break onto my face.

"Thank you, sir." He chuckled and pulled out his phone.

"Call me Mike. Now, let me just see in my planner… We have a few studio sessions open this week. We'd like for you to get into the studio for a trial run, prove to us that this CD you sent in is the real deal and we can go from there. If all goes well, we can talk contract." I looked to my mom and grinned. She smiled back and we arranged a time to meet tomorrow.

"What we need to see is a few songs, two or three, that you can sing for us that you feel really represent you and your style. Given the original songs from the CD I can assume you're a singer/songwriter?" He asked and I nodded.

"Yes. I write all my own songs." I told him and he nodded with a smile.

"That's refreshing. I look forward to seeing you tomorrow, Isabella." After giving us directions to the studio we left the label office.

"Ahhhh God I'm so excited! I told my mom as we got into her SUV. She grinned to me.

"Bella I'm so proud of you!" I immediately got my phone out and texted Isaac.

"_Meeting tomorrow. With the head of the label. In the studio. Oh my God oh my God."_

Within the minute I had a message back.

"_When you're famous, can I be your backup dancer and just…shake my thing all over the world?" _I couldn't hold in my laughter as I showed my mom the message. She chuckled too.

"_You're delusional." _I replied. Again, he replied right away.

"_I. Am an amazing booty shaker."_ I grinned to my phone, missing my twin already.

"So how's Isaac doing anyway?" My mom asked as we pulled away from a stop sign. We were headed back home to Franklin, about thirty minutes from Nashville.

"He's good. He and Krista broke up like…two months ago. He told you that right?" I asked and she shook her head.

"Oh…well they broke up. She was Facebook messaging some guy from school asking to hangout and it was all too shady for Isaac so he said he had to 'cut her loose'." I told her and she nodded. They had only dated for two ish months anyway.

"I miss him a lot." I confessed to her and she gave me an understanding smile and patted my leg.

"Aww sweetie I'm sorry. I know this must be hard for you both." I nodded. It really was. Between friends, family and Paul I was looking pretty exhausted.

"He's literally my other half. It's so weird not having him here. I know it would get easier…but it sucks." She nodded.

"So…did you ever get to talk to Paul? She asked and I sighed, looking at my hands. I had filled her in last night when she asked how he was doing.

"No…I don't even know what to do anymore. People say to wait it out and things will get better but…I don't want to just wait it out. It's not fair that I have to wait with no explanation…you know?" She nodded.

"I know sweetie. Luckily there is a lot here to keep you busy for a bit. Who knows where you'll even be in a month! Let the excitement fill the void for now." I nodded. I didn't really have any other choice.

* * *

**Leah POV**

I sat at Claire's hanging out…our usual for a Friday night. Bella left yesterday and it was clear neither of us were handling it well.

"This just isn't the same." Claire said and I nodded, popping another chip into my mouth. We'd always have girls nights on Saturdays and rotate at each other's houses. We had the movie The Goonies in. One of Bella's favourites. We weren't paying much attention though. I looked to the empty chair and sighed.

"I'm so excited for her though. She's been working so hard for years now." I said and Claire nodded.

"Yeah. Even travelling. Remember when her and Paul would drive into the city to busk?" She asked and I nodded.

"Yeah…she'd work herself to death playing small sets and busking in Nashville when her and Isaac would go visit their parents. She finally has her shot."

"I just wish it wasn't so far away." Claire said sadly and I nodded. We were quiet for a few moments until curiosity got the better of me.

"So…what's going on between Bella and Paul?" I asked. Bella hasn't said much about it but it's obvious that they'd fallen apart in the last month. He doesn't seem to hang out with anyone but Sam Uley…and she left without saying goodbye to him. I watched Claire struggle to find her words.

"Honestly? I have no idea. Paul's never around…Bella would call and he'd get all snarly and tell us to just let it ring…he's been a real fucking grouch lately." I nodded. I'd been here a few times when he came home. He's changed so much…he's really bulked up fast. He's always scowling…you can't even say hello without a dirty look thrown at you.

"You don't think…maybe…"

"Steroids?" Claire supplied for me. I felt uncomfortable even suggesting it because it was such a mean thing to jump to…but the shoe fit in more ways than one. "I don't think so…but I see what you mean."

"Oh yea let's just blame Paul's pissy attitude on steroids. Nice." We heard behind us. We both turned to see a seething Paul in the doorway to the living room. When the hell did he get home?

"Paul…I said you weren't." Claire told him. He looked to her and softened a bit towards his sister but his gruff exterior stood firm. To be honest he was a bit scary. He'd gotten _huge_. He used to be a decent size…around 5'11", 170lbs. It looked cute next to Bella's 5'1", 115lbs frame. But now…he had to be at least 6'4"…210lbs? And it was all muscle. He'd look a little scary next to Bella now.

"But you were thinking it. I'm sure that's what you're all fucking thinking. Whatever." He snarled and stormed into the kitchen. We heard him open the fridge and pause.

"I see Bella hasn't called yet." He said in a clipped tone from the kitchen. They usually left a little note on the fridge that she had called that day. Claire looked to me and bit her lip. She was nervous to tell him.

"Uh…Paul? Can…can you come here?" Claire asked in a shaky voice. It took him a second but he made his way to the doorway again and looked at her curiously.

"Ummm…maybe you should…sit down." She told him and his eyes narrowed.

"Why?" He asked and she sighed, standing up to grab his arm.

"Just trust me." He sat down in Bella's open chair and looked from me to Claire. To say I was anxious was an understatement.

"Paul…uh…Bella isn't calling today." She told him and he just looked at her. "She didn't call yesterday either." She told him. Claire had told me he hadn't come home at all yesterday. He just sat there curiously…though it sure looked angry.

"And your point?" He asked. Claire looked to me nervously. I nodded, pushing her to spill it already. The longer this is held off, the worse it will be.

"Paul, Bella's gone." He stood up in an instant and began yelling.

"**What do you mean **_**GONE?!**__" _Claire stood and held up her hands.

"Paul please sit down-"

"**NO!** What do you mean **gone?!"** She took a deep breath and began explaining.

"Paul…Bella was called by a label in Nashville…they flew her out to meet with them yesterday. She's been trying to call and tell you…but…" Her sentence fell off. And then I saw something I never thought I'd see.

Paul's whole resolve fell and I watched a grown man crumple. His face twisted into pain and his eyes filled with unshed tears.

"What do you mean gone?" He whispered, looking at Claire. She nodded, tears in her eyes too.

"Paul…I'm so sorry. But she left yesterday. I don't know when she's coming back." And there he sat in Bella's chair…head in his hands…crying.

* * *

**Paul POV**

I vaguely remember Claire sending Leah home about twenty minutes ago, but I hadn't moved. I've never felt like this before. I've never…I've never felt so broken.

Sure I've dealt with more than my fair share of heartache. Starting from a young age I learned that love just…dies. My mom and dad…I watched him do horrible things. And yet claim to _love _her.

_Love._

What a horrible lie to sell.

Or so I thought…

Then there was Bella.

She's like…the light at the end of the tunnel. She's that girl that's too good to be true. Easy going, laid back, funny, smart, talented, honest…she taught me how to pick myself up and move on…with her it was easy. And yet I kept my feelings in…I'd only ever told her how I felt once. July 9th…she had been in Tennessee for a month visiting her mom and I came to the airport with Charlie to get her and Isaac. That night…I told her I loved her. Just five months ago.

And I let her go.

I felt Claire rub my arm in comfort but I didn't deserve it. I didn't deserve comfort after what I'd done.

"Don't." I snapped and stood up. I looked to her and saw tears falling from her eyes too. I felt horrible for how I'd been treating her lately…I couldn't help it though. I'm just…I'm so angry. So, so angry. I heard the front door open and saw Jaxon come in with Sam and I just unleashed.

"_**Why didn't you tell me?!"**_ I yelled and they were clearly startled. My sister sunk a little deeper into the couch, but I couldn't pull back.

"Hey man calm down." Sam said and I looked right at Jaxon.

"How long did you know? Huh? How long did you know she'd be leaving?! And you never fucking told me!" Jaxon stepped forward and didn't look happy. He stood an inch taller than me but he was a lot calmer.

"Maybe you would have known if you answered the phone." I pushed him and shook my head.

"Hey fuck you man. You fucking _know_ why I haven't picked that fucking phone up. _It's too fucking hard_." He shook his head.

"Yea and you know what else was hard? Watching my baby sister cry. Every day. Because the only person she's ever loved just dropped her **without an explanation.**" I shook my head again. How did this happen? The last time I spoke to her I was calling her and apologizing for missing her party…but how could I go when I couldn't control my fucking temper? I felt myself start to shake.

"Paul, calm down. Now." Sam ordered but I just couldn't . I felt my skin rippling and I tried to stumble to the back door."

"Paul!? What's wrong with him!" I heard Claire yell and I pushed myself faster. I had to get away from her. She couldn't be too close. I felt Jaxon push me out the back door and I internally thanked him. I felt my insides burst and my animal instincts take control. My wolf.

I'd been resenting him for so long…he's what ruined everything. He's what pushed Bella away. I howled at the night sky and laid on the grassy floor of my backyard, right beside the gully. I whimpered a bit and looked to the house. There stood Sam and Jaxon, looking uneasy…my baby sister standing beside them…shocked.

* * *

"So…that's why I haven't been in contact with Bella." I told Claire, sadly. It took a little bit but Sam had finally coaxed me from my wolf security blanket about twenty minutes ago. One thing I did like about the wolf…human Paul got a rest from the constant lie I was living.

"I…I don't know what to say." She said, clearly shaken. Sam and Jaxon were still here and I sighed. I felt guilty…but I almost felt lighter telling someone. Someone that isn't a protector…someone not part of the pack…knows what I am. My mom knew, of course. My father was a wolf. So she knew the signs…but it wasn't the same as _telling_ someone your internal struggle. Claire is one person I don't have to hide around now…it was nice.

"You don't really need to say anything. It's a lot to take in." Sam told her and she nodded, looking to Sam and Jaxon.

"And you two are also…" They nodded in response. She looked to Jaxon.

"So why doesn't Bella know?" She asked and he shrugged.

"No one in my family knows. My dad knows I spend a lot of time with Sam and he likes Sam…so he never questions where I am. I've just never needed to tell. It's safer for them." She nodded.

"So…why couldn't you just tell Bella?" She asked, looking to me. I shook my head.

"You see my control. I'm a fucking asshole and have no control over where and when I phase. What if I hurt her?" I told her. She put a hand on my arm.

"You two will fix this. I promise." She told me and I just hung my head.

"I wouldn't blame her for never forgiving me." But Claire stood up.

"Paul. She loves you. If you explain the whole thing I _know_ she would understand." But I knew I couldn't. Not yet. If I ever phased too close…if I ever got too angry…

Images of Sam's fiancé, Emily flashed through my mind. It shook me to my core to think of Bella scarred like that. I shook my head.

"Let her be happy." I told them. The room fell silent and I went up to my room. I just needed to be alone.

* * *

**Bella POV**

"Bella…just hear me out… please." Leah pleaded with me. I sighed and looked to my computer screen. We were Skyping and she had brought up Paul. I didn't want to hear about it…but she had that look on her face. I couldn't deny her.

"Bella he _broke. down._ He misses you so much." I shook my head.

"He should have picked up the phone then." I told her. She looked to me sadly as I started to cry.

"I…I can't talk about this right now Leah. I'm sorry…it…it just hurts so much." I cried and she cried too. It's what we did…we felt for one another. That's what best friends do.

"I'm sorry Leah…I have to go." I sobbed and she nodded. I hung up and closed my computer and cried…I cried a lot. I looked down and saw my attire. His navy blue sweater. It was my go to on cold nights. I smelled it and smelled like him…it only made me cry harder. I love him so much…and I know he loves me too. I know it. So I don't understand what happened to us.

I went over to my guitar and songbook that I'd left in the corner of the room and sat down. I began writing and playing a soft, sad melody. I never thought it would come to this…but it did. And I don't know how to be ok.

* * *

"Alright Bella that was awesome! What's that song called?" Mike asked me and I smiled to him, holding in my grimace. I pointed to the sheet in front of him.

"That one was called 'State of Grace'." I told him. He nodded and smiled, looking to the sheet I indicated from inside the booth. I was standing in the studio with Mike and a producer he'd asked to join us. My mom was standing in the corner, grinning ear to ear. I hated forcing a smile at a time like this. I should be over the moon…but it hurt so much. He pressed the little button again so his voice would carry through into the booth.

"And what do you call you're second recording?" I cleared my throat, forcing away the lump.

"Last Kiss." He nodded with a smile.

"Alright Bella, whenever you're ready." I nodded. I took a deep breath and readjusted myself on my stool, my guitar on my lap. I closed my eyes and forced myself to get through it. I'm not sure why I picked this song to sing for them…maybe it was because it was raw…and real. Maybe I just needed someone to listen. But I began playing softly, singing the song I had written just last night.

"_I still remember the look on your face / Lit through the darkness at 1:58 / The words that you whispered / For just us to know / You told me you loved me / So why did you go away? / Away_

_I do recall now the smell of the rain / Fresh on the pavement / I ran off the plane / That July 9__th__ / The beat of your heart / It jumps through your shirt / I can still feel your arms_

_But now I'll go sit on the floor / Wearing your clothes / All that I know is / I don't know how to be something you miss / I never thought we'd have a last kiss / Never imagined we'd end like this / Your name, forever the name on my lips_

_I do remember the swing of your step / The life of the party, you're showing off again / And I roll my eyes and then / You pull me in / I'm not much for dancing / But for you I did_

_Because I love your handshake, meeting my father / I love how you walk with your hands in your pockets / How you'd kissed me when I was in the middle of saying something / There's not a day I don't miss those rude interruptions_

_And I'll go sit on the floor / Wearing your clothes / All that I know is / I don't know how to be something you miss / Never thought we'd have a last kiss / Never imagined we'd end like this / Your name, forever the name on my lips / Ooooh_

_So I'll watch your life in pictures like I used to watch you sleep / And I feel you forget me like I used to feel you breathe / And I'll keep up with our old friends just to ask them how you are / Hope it's nice where you are_

_And I hope the sun shines / And it's a beautiful day / And something reminds you / You wish you had stayed / You can plan for a change in weather and time / But I never planned on you changing your mind_

_So I'll go sit on the floor / Wearing your clothes / All that I know is / I don't know how to be something you miss / Never thought we'd have a last kiss / Never imagined we'd end like this / Your name, forever the name on my lips_

_Just like our last kiss / Forever the name on my lips / Forever the name on my lips_

_Just like our last..."_

I don't know when I had closed my eyes…or when I had started crying. But I looked through the glass to the others and saw nothing but pure, undivided attention. My mom had tears rolling down her cheeks and Mike had a small smile on his face. I cleared my throat awkwardly when no one said anything. I put my guitar down and took off the headphones and placed them on the stool. I walked out the door to where they all stood to greet me. My mom immediately took me into a mom hug, and I welcomed the comfort. She let me go and I turned to Mike, who stood with his hand outstretched. He shook my hand and looked right into my eyes and said those five words I never thought I'd hear.

"Welcome to Rolling Rock Records."

* * *

**I hope you all enjoyed it! **

**Songs: Last Kiss – Taylor Swift**


	3. Dead of Winter

**I'm so glad you're all enjoying it so far! I know there is a bit of hesitation when it comes to the author's made up characters, and in this story there are quite a few. However they do not take presidence over the Twilight characters and they will be lovable and compliment the main characters nicely. Anyone who has read stories I've written before, knows I tend to make non-canon characters quite likable. :)**

* * *

**Chapter Three: Dead of Winter**

* * *

**Bella POV**

"What is it?!" Isaac asked as I grinned into the camera. I was sitting in my bedroom in Franklin, my dad and brothers on Skype with me. I had yet to tell them how my meeting with Mike had went and I was anxious to fill them in. I had signed my recording contract a few days ago.

"Hold on! Jaxon needs to be here too!" I told them and Isaac groaned, standing up from his laptop. I heard faint yelling and Jaxon's named called and I laughed at my twin's impatience.

"Hurry up!" He yelled again and I laughed to my screen. I heard the door open and close and I watched Jaxon and Isaac appear on the screen.

"This better be good!" Jaxon told me, out of breath. He had just gotten home. I grinned to him and nodded.

"I'm sure you'll agree it was worth the effort." I told him and he chuckled. I looked to my family on my screen and I couldn't hold it in any longer.

"I got a recording deal!" I shouted and watched the guys break into hysterics, shouting and celebrating. I laughed as their shocked faces disappeared from the shot and reappeared again, wanting more information.

"So what does this mean?! How long will you be gone for?!" Isaac asked and I shrugged.

"I'm not sure to be honest. I'll be registering at a high school here tomorrow to finish grade ten here in Tennessee and I'll probably be here for grade eleven too. It's going to take a while between writing new songs, recording them, collecting a band, promotion, actually making the CD…it's a lengthy process." They nodded and my dad spoke.

"So they will be promoting you then?" I nodded hesitantly.

"Well….yes and no. I mean…of course they will do what they can because they want me to be profitable for _them_…but they will also be shipping me all over the place on my breaks apparently to sing a song or two for radio junkets, small sets to fill gaps for headlining tours, if I'm lucky Mike said I could even get a spot opening for someone." He nodded.

"And what does that mean for school?" I sighed. I know he wants me to finish school…

"Well we would have to come to that when it happens. I can always take a year off and continue school the following year or be home schooled but I can't always find someone willing to take a shot on me like that. So…right now I can balance school easily and…we will see about later." He nodded. I could tell it wasn't his ideal situation but I also knew he'd never ruin this moment for me. My brothers and I had a special relationship with each other and my dad. A lot is said with our eyes.

"Well I'm really proud of you Bells. You've worked really hard putting yourself out there and I know you'll be successful." I smiled to him.

"Thanks dad." He nodded and Isaac started to fidget.

"So…when will you be home next?" My expression turned sad looking at Isaac. I miss him so much…it feels like my other half is literally missing. The happy look on Tuck's face fell as well and I felt a piece of my heart break.

"I'm not sure…but Mike also said that he understands that I'm leaving family behind…there's a fund set up for artists that need…kind of like a slush fund before they really make it…for travelling so they can see their family. He said he would fly you guys out here for breaks and stuff." Their faces seemed brighter at this and I smiled to them.

"I won't let us go too long without seeing each other. If I can't come there because of work then I'll bring you here."

"We miss you B." Isaac told me and I felt a tear fall down my cheek.

"I miss you guys too." I whispered.

* * *

**Paul POV**

"So what…she's just…gone? For how long?" I asked as we sat around Sam's kitchen table.

"Look man, I don't know. She'll be gone for a good year and a half at the least." I felt my heart crack at his words. My Bella…I wanted so badly to be happy for her. She was starting her dream…I'd wanted this moment to come for so long. My Bella…she's so unbelievably talented. I've never doubted her for a second. She's got the will to win…she's never backed down from what she wanted. I need this for her almost as much as she needs it…I just never expected it to hurt so much.

"I just…I wish she knew." I told Jaxon. Sam looked up to me and I hung my head.

"I know, I know. I didn't want to tell her but…it would have been so much easier. Just…I wish we had a policy where our families could know…Bella would have already known about Jax and it would have been easy for us to work through it…" I looked to Jaxon who nodded.

"I kind of wish my family knew…to be honest. I mean…they never really ask…and they don't _need_ to know…but I feel like there's a wall between us. I live this whole secret life they don't know about." I nodded. I couldn't imagine how Jaxon did it all this time. He phased when Bella was going into grade nine…just before we started dating. At least my mom knew from the start. No one in Jaxon's family knows he's a werewolf. Sam cleared his throat.

"Well…what do you guys think then? I mean…once you tell someone, you have to put up with the repercussions of them either not believing you, being afraid of you…you can't un-tell your loved ones." I looked to Sam and nodded. Since Claire found out a week ago things have been a lot easier at home for me. She's more understanding…and I'm less of a dick.

"Yea but it also relieves a lot of stress. I mean…it's a lot easier not needing to hide in my own house." Sam nodded and sighed.

"Well…you two are the pack. If you two think it's easier for the pack to tell family…then I support you. If you think it would be easier for newcomers…then I can't argue with it. My mom has always known." I looked to Jaxon who took a deep breath.

"I have one condition." He said and Sam and I looked to him. He began fiddling with a mark on the table and we waited patiently for him to collect his thoughts.

"I…uh…I don't want anyone telling Bella." He stammered and I narrowed my eyes. If he didn't tell Bella then how was I supposed to get her to forgive me? I couldn't tell her…it had to be Jaxon.

"What do you mean?" I asked and he looked pointedly at me.

"Bella has a lot on her plate and I won't have a bombshell like this ruin it for her. Let her get on her feet before we go fucking with her head." I could only stare at him. How…how could I just let go of it? How… but I could see it in his eyes. There was no negotiating. I hung my head defeated as Sam cleared his throat.

"It's official then. If a pack member wants to tell his family about the change and the pack, then he is able to."

* * *

**Bella POV**

I walked through the streets of Franklin, a light dusting of snow on the ground. Nothing close to what we have back home in Forks right now but…it's white non-the-less. Tomorrow is Christmas Eve and I can't help but wish I was with my dad and brothers. I love my mom but…we were never the closest mother and daughter. When my mom and dad divorced I had desperately wanted to stay in Forks with my dad and so when my mom ran off with Phil, whom she had met while still married to my dad, I stayed behind with him and my brothers.

I stopped and sat on a small park bench and sighed. I always found it funny that people complain about the snow…and yet wish away the heat in August. They never really know what they want until it's gone and you're unhappy with the alternatives. I looked to my shoes and willed away the tears.

I wonder if…if he actually misses me. If…I'm like the sun to him. He never knew he needed it until it was gone and he was left in the dead of winter…I doubted it.

If he missed me he never would have allowed this to go on for so long. If he truly broke down…he would have contacted me…wouldn't he? I felt the tears prick at my eyes, begging for release. I refused though…I was too angry.

I tried everyday to fix this and make it right. I tried so hard to be supportive of him and his insecurities. I even held off telling him how much I loved him…everyday. Because he felt bad that he couldn't say it back. I always thought…there was hope. That one-day his guard would fall down and I'd be lucky enough to hear it more than once…that maybe he'd want me to know. I just never thought I'd see the day when he discarded me all together. That all my patience and understanding would be for nothing. I felt a few tears fall.

What made it hurt the most…the thing I still couldn't wrap my head around…was that this happened right after we…were intimate for the first time. How could I not make that connection? He…he took my virginity and just…disappeared two weeks later. No explanation…no apology. Just left…and it ripped my insides apart. What if I wasn't what he expected…what if I…wasn't good.

A few more tears fell and I sniffled. My phone vibrated in my pocket and I took it out to see a text from Tuck.

'_I miss you Bella…I hope you're day is filled with happiness.'_ I sniffled again, more tears falling down my cheeks to my chin. I missed them so much.

'_I miss you too buddy. I hope yours is filled with happiness too.'_ I typed out and hit send. He sent me back a solitary happy face and I sighed. I can't help but feel spent. Being sad is exhausting…and questioning yourself takes so much strength. I was just spent. I pocketed my phone and looked around me. The beautiful scenery seemed dull in comparison to my pain and I knew I needed to pick myself up. It's been about a month since he stopped all contact with me…since then I've only heard a few words come from his mouth. Saying he'd be at my party…and then apologizing for breaking his promise. I shook my head. I should feel more closure than I do…it shouldn't still feel like it was only yesterday…but it did. I didn't want to be sad anymore…I didn't want to feel useless and question myself in order to place blame. I should be so happy…my life finally starting to fit into a bigger picture. But all I could think of was laying in his bed beside him, nestled into his arms. Feeling like…we had our whole lives ahead of us.

And knowing now how wrong I was.

* * *

**I know this is a very short chapter but it was the right place to end given how I want the next chapter to go. Together, this and the next chapter create a nice long one. Enjoy!**


	4. Trouble

**Here's the continuation, Enjoy.**

* * *

**Chapter Four: Trouble**

* * *

**Bella POV**

In the last year and a half a lot has happened. I mean…things were going pretty well. After I signed the deal back in December of 2012 I started school in Franklin and would work weekends in Nashville, in the studio and writing rooms, coming up with material. Not that I was short of it…I managed to pop out quite a few songs. Some of them are album material and some of them aren't…but that's just how it goes. They can't all be gems, you know?

I met some people in school but I tended to stick to myself. I missed my friends and family back home so much that it was hard to be overly social, knowing it just wasn't the same. I remember the first time my family flew out here….it was in March of 2013, during March break.

* * *

"_So are you enjoying it here, sweetie?" My dad asked. I nodded, handing him a coffee. We were sitting in my mom and Phil's living room socializing. I was just thankful I had two divorced parents that could handle being in the same room together. I went and sat on the floor in front of Isaac and he played with my hair. The tears when they arrived were exhausting…I was just happy to see them all._

"_I really am dad…I miss Forks. But I've been keeping busy with work and school. I'm actually picking up a few night courses to lighten my work load for next year because Mike expects me to be fairly busy at the label." He nodded with a smile._

"_So you been travelling?" He asked and I shook my head._

"_No not really…I mean…I go into Nashville quite often and play at the pubs or bars. I had a gig at the Blue Bird last weekend, which was unreal. But I've been staying local so far. Just letting people get to know my face. I'll be travelling a little this summer though for radio press." He nodded. _

"_So you're loving it then." Jax stated and I nodded, a huge grin on my face. Tuck smiled to me and I smiled back. It all felt right…having them here. I felt like I wasn't torn in so many directions. I felt like…I could be at peace for a moment. _

_Of course I still missed my friends like crazy, but I Skype with them weekly._

"_You should hear the work she's coming home with. I'd never speak poorly of your talents, Bella but…even in the last few months you've…I mean you've improved a great deal. It's magical to watch really." My mom told them and I blushed. _

"_I've been learning a lot. The guys at the label are amazing…it's nice to feel like I've grown." I told them and my dad smiled._

"_I'm so happy for you, Bells." He told me and I grinned._

"_Thanks, dad."_

* * *

In that moment I was so happy. I'd finally started to heal my wounds…I had felt…a bit lighter. Well…until Paul mailed me some of my things back in April of 2013. I had ignored an email from him. He had reached out and just told me he missed me…that he was sorry. I never replied to him and two weeks later I picked up a box at the post office…small things. A few picture frames of us…a plaid button up shirt I'd left there…my baseball glove and a pair of skates...I shook my head at the thought.

Even if I had have replied, I didn't know what I would have said. What could I say? Oh…you miss me? You should have called. It was too late…I didn't have it in me to be that person that rolls over and takes him back…mailing me my things had devastated me…and only made me even angrier. After that…I didn't really care about…playing it safe. I started dating again that month, small flings. Nothing very serious…even though I slept with one of them…but I knew I was only trying to fill a void. I was only trying to keep myself from doing the one thing I'd never forgive myself for.

Telling him I missed him too.

That's why in August of 2013 I started dating someone more long term. Though…I'm still not entirely sure it counts as one to put on the ol' resume.

* * *

"_Soooo tell me all about him!" Leah begged over Skype and I laughed. I shrugged and thought about what I could possibly tell her._

"_Well he's really smart and interesting…keeps me on my toes. He's pretty protective of me." She nodded._

"_And gorgeous." She said and I laughed. She had seen a picture of us on Facebook. I didn't speak about him much with my friends or family…I didn't really know what to tell them_. 'Oh yea…I've gone from heartache to dating a vampire.'_ Like that would go over well. I mean…it's not like I had gone looking for someone like Edward…he had just kind of fallen into my lap._

_Last month in July I had been walking back to my apartment in Nashville around 1am from a long writing session. I had gotten the place in June because my hours were crazy at the label once school was over. With a half-hour drive one way…sometimes at two in the morning and back again at 7am…it was easier to be five minutes away. My mom and Phil had helped me get the place and as soon as I start making more money I can pay them back._

_I had never been scared of the area…no one had ever bothered me before. Of course…it wasn't really a 'no one' that had bothered me. This 'one' had sharp pointed teeth, red eyes, and was freakishly strong. He had pulled me into a back ally by a dumpster and did some sick things. He had licked the tears from my face and told me he was going to perch my dead body on a street light…like a scarecrow. The whole incident was burned into my brain. He had bit me…just to hear me scream. It was like torture…it burned so bad. But before he could do much else this…guy had come out of nowhere and…and…ripped his head off. He sucked the wound the vampire had given me until the burning stopped and taken me to the hospital. I had needed some blood pumped into me but…thanks to him I was alright. _

_It had taken a while to accept what he was…vampire. You go your whole life thinking that's only a silly story…that it could never be real. And now…I'm dating one._

_Because of that it was hard to tell my family and friends much about him or how we met. I told them he had offered to walk me home after witnessing a mugging and after that we just became close. But…I never told them about the hospital visit or the fact that it was me who had been in trouble. I'd never know how to explain it and keep the story straight…so I lied._

* * *

I had lied a lot during my relationship with Edward. He was a nice enough guy…depending on your definition of 'nice'. We fought a lot…and it was impossible for me to deny it…I had wanted him to fill the void in my heart. I had been so angry and so weak…that I fell for the secure feeling he gave me of just having someone.

Don't get me wrong…I mean I did love him. He was…he was a huge part of my life while we were together. But now I have the benefit of perspective…I had deluded myself into thinking it was perfect…when in reality I was only half living. I had devoted myself to something dead…someone who wasn't as faithful to me as he claimed...someone with their own agenda.

I had known how dumb it was, I mean I'm not an idiot. I knew it was one sided…and yet I gave into it because I was desperate to just have someone to fill that gap…and I convinced myself it was special. We broke up in December 2013 and were on and off for a few months until I'd finally had enough in March of 2014. My family seemed pretty relieved when I stopped taking his calls. They didn't know the ins and outs of the relationship but it wasn't hard to see that I wasn't happy anymore…and that I wasn't the only one he was playing. It was hard…but not as hard as the first time around. I may have been in an intimate relationship with Edward…but he wasn't in one with me.

I've heard that he asked around the label when I stopped taking his calls and I forced myself to just let him wonder. Once I was away from him…I realized I wasn't happy. I wasn't ok with the constant fighting and cheating…and I wasn't ok with letting him see how much he had hurt me. So…I just cut all contact with him. I never thought I'd break up with a vampire…not because he was a vampire…but because he wasn't good to me.

I looked down to my crescent shaped scar on my right wrist and sighed. The worst part about the breakup…was knowing about their world. Knowing that I was apart of it…and now I'm not. It's like trying to lie to myself everyday…trying to ignore it.

It was like…pretending those seven months never happened…because I can't possibly tell anyone about it. I couldn't be honest…all I could do was release my pain through song…and I did.

I'd written a lot about that relationship…different aspects of it and different emotions I had felt. It made it a bit easier because…I didn't necessarily need to discuss it. People that wanted to know about my life could just listen to the album…they'd have a humanistic idea of how I felt and what I went through.

Since my breakup with Edward I have been working very hard…way too hard. I know it's not the first time I've been heartbroken…and it's definitely not the worst…but it still left a void. A void I needed to fill quickly. I had been spending every spare moment immersed in my work and every waking weekend moment in Nashville at the label. Mike was pretty happy with the last few songs I turned out, and so was one of my co-writers, Joe.

* * *

"_I know it's probably a jerk thing to say…but you're at your best when you're hurting." Joe told me, sitting down at the table I was sitting at. I was in the break room of the label with my songbook in front of me. It was a Friday night and I didn't need to be at work until tomorrow morning but…I didn't want to sit at my apartment alone. I wanted to be busy…when I was alone I thought…and when I thought I thought of Edward and how…how I wasn't good enough for him. Which always led to Paul. Always Paul. It has been over a year since I left Forks…I haven't spoken to him since before he started avoiding me._

"_Well…that's the life of an artist…right? We always write from the heart." He nodded and looked at my song book. I hadn't written anything down yet._

"_Stuck?" He asked and I shrugged. _

"_I don't know…I don't know what's going on in here." I told him, pointing to my head. He chuckled and looked to me._

"_Well then, what's going on in there?" He asked, pointing to my heart and I sighed._

"_Honestly? I'm pissed off." I told him and he chuckled again, nodding._

"_That's always a powerful tool." He told me and I smirked._

"_Yea but what am I supposed to say? I knew that it was bad news from the start? That I knew he was messing around and…and that part of me knew he never felt what I felt?" I asked and he shrugged._

"_Why not?" He asked and I stopped to look at him, confused._

"_What do you mean?" I asked and he shrugged again, looking at me seriously._

"_Why can't you say that? Bella, you're a smart girl. And even the smartest people screw up…make mistakes…hell I've got a whole list of mistakes and I'm a genius." He told me and I laughed, earning a smile from Joe._

"_Bella…you can't limit yourself to what's nice to say…or what's poetic. Sometimes you have to sit there and say…'I fucked up'. And guess what? People will relate." I looked to him curiously._

"_You think so?" I asked and he nodded immediately. _

"_You're damn right. If I had someone write a song and say, 'Hey, guess what. I made a huge mistake. I knew I shouldn't have done it, and I'm to blame.' I think I could relate to that person so much more than someone that never took responsibility. Sometimes we are to blame for our hearts being broken…and that's a hard thing to admit. But if you can…it could be one of the best ideas you've ever had." He told me and I nodded, thoughtfully._

"_Thanks, Joe." I told him and he nodded, patting my shoulder._

"_I have to go…but I'll see you bright and early?" He asked and I nodded._

"_Night, Joe."_

"_Goodnight, Bella." He told me and left the room. I sighed, looking to my book and shook my head. I looked deep…deep down. And I asked myself just what I was thinking when I got involved with Edward…and the answer kind of scared me. A small part of me knew he couldn't have cared about me…and…and I liked that. I liked knowing…that it was bound to fail. Because at least it wasn't a surprise when it went ass up. I was prepared…to get my heart broken. And yet I still loved the notion of forever…and knowing he was someone that could actually give me that. And that's my fault. _

_I looked down to my book and felt like I'd been hit with lightening. I started writing and never once stopped. I wrote what I felt…like a diary. I could always edit later…right now I needed to vent and get it out…I needed to let myself be pissed off and disappointed in myself. I didn't stop until 2am before I shut the light off and went home. I fell asleep feeling so much lighter…Joe would have a nice surprise tomorrow morning._

* * *

"_Good morning Bella." __Joe said and I smiled to him, handing him a coffee I had picked up._

"_Morning, Joe." He gratefully took the coffee and watched me sit down at the table in one of the writing rooms. We had it booked from 7am-1pm to hash out some ideas._

"_So what time were you here 'til last night?" He asked and I shrugged._

"_Around two I think." __I told him and he chuckled._

"_Still stuck?" He asked and I grinned, pulling out my songbook and guitar. I shook my head and showed him my scribbles._

"_Well, well, well. What do we have here?" He asked, pulling the book in front of him. "'I Knew You Were Trouble'. I like it." He told me and I grinned. We went over it and brainstormed a few changes before we got started on the music._

"_I was thinking something upbeat. Like…a song you'd rock out to in your car." He gave me a look._

"_Really? It's not a deeper song to you?" I shook my head._

"_No…in my head it's like…it's something like this." I told him and played a melody on my guitar. He looked thoughtful before shaking his finger._

"_I think you've got something there, Bella." He told me and I grinned. We wrote some music to go with it and at about five to one I looked to the song in front of me._

"_I feel…so much lighter." I told him and he nodded._

"_Those are some deep lyrics, Bella. I'd imagine it feels good to get that out." I nodded._

"_It really does…I just…thank you. I never could have come up with it had it not been for our talk last night." I told him and he smiled._

"_That's what I'm here for, Doll."_

* * *

That song truly had turned out amazing. Joe had told my producer, Bob, that he wanted me in the studio right away to do a demo. He said he wanted that raw aggression to be in my voice and I agreed…it sounded amazing. We had added other instruments and had a final recording of it and I just…I had been so happy. Everything had been coming together and I was starting to _feel_ better. I felt stronger. I felt…I felt more in control than I had in a long time. Don't get me wrong…I wrote a sad song about the breakup too…but…it was still strong. I don't think it would have been possible without "I Knew You Were Trouble". I don't think a lot of the things I've felt since then would be possible. It was true… admitting defeat and taking responsibility…it made me a stronger, happier person. And for that I was grateful.

Of course, that was in April, a month after we split for good. Even though I felt stronger…it didn't stop me from putting in way too much time at work. My parents have noticed I've been around less and less…and I felt guilty. The last time I saw my dad was March break 2014. Of course, a few of my brothers had come to visit when school was let out.

* * *

_I grinned, throwing the headphones off and booking it out of the booth. It was a studio day but it was more than that. Isaac and Tucker were arriving today to spend a week with me, and they just came into the studio, my mom having picked them up at the airport._

"_I missed you guys so much!" I told them, pulling them both in for a group hug. I smiled looking to them both. _

"_You guys have grown…my God." I told them and Tucker laughed._

"_Well…I _did_ just turn fifteen." He told me and I grinned. _

"_I know! I have your present at my apartment." I told him. I had felt bad that I wasn't able to go home for his birthday at the end of May but when he mentioned that he could come visit in June it worked out well. I shook my head._

"_What are you now…5'8?" He grinned._

"_5'9"!" He told me and I laughed. I know that wasn't necessarily tall, but I was only 5'1". I looked to Isaac and assessed his changes._

"_You must be 5'11" now." He shook his head._

"_5'11" and a half, thank you." He told me and I laughed, shaking my head. I hugged them one more time._

"_I'm just so much happier now that you're here." I told them, winking to Tucker. He chuckled. We messaged each other daily and there was never a…'have a great day!' Or…'I hope your day is good!'...it's always "I hope your day is filled with happiness." It meant so much more to us…because all we wanted was for the other to be happy. Sometimes it was hard without my family…but I always tried. I had to set a good example for my baby brother._

_They were pumped because Bob let them stick around the studio with me for the day so they got an inside scoop on what I was working on. It was nice to share it with them…and it meant a lot that they wanted to be there._

* * *

That visit was burned into my brain…every word…every hug. Every little piece of him I could hold onto…because today? It was all I had left. Today it was hard to breathe…and I felt…like I'd never be happy again. Today…I felt every resolve I had fade away into blackness and I didn't know what to do. Today…my whole world fell apart in a way I could never explain.

"Bella." I heard him say as I turned around, waiting at baggage claim and was met with a hug. He pulled me in as close as he could get me and I let myself break down. I stood there…and I cried. Harder than I've ever cried before. And he cried too. I felt his warm body shake against mine and I just let myself fall apart. I looked over his shoulder and saw Sam.

"He's here just incase…I don't want to hurt you if I'm not able to keep it together." He told me and I nodded, letting him tuck me under his shoulder. Sam grabbed my bags and I thanked him and we walked away from baggage claim. We left the airport and got into his truck. He tossed Sam the keys.

"Could you drive, man?" Sam nodded and got into the drivers seat. I closed my eyes and curled into his side and let silent tears fall down my cheeks. My world was different now. It wasn't a world filled with love and joy…it was dark and empty…and I struggled to hold my chest together as I took a deep breath, more tears coming. We drove all the way from Seattle, me pressed against his warm skin.

When we finally got to my house I sat in the truck and stared.

"You coming Bella?" He asked and I could only stay still. Sam gave us privacy and went into the house. I could only look at it.

"It doesn't even look the same." I told him. I had stopped crying about an hour ago…unsure if I had anything left to cry. He was silent for a moment, waiting for me get my bearings.

"Everyone's here…been here all day. No one can seem to leave…I think they are scared to." He told me and I just sat still, absorbing his words. I looked to him. He looked the same…and yet so different. Then again, I suppose I look a lot different too.

I haven't been back to Forks since I left in December of 2012. It was now July of 2014. My hair was quite long…all the way down to my elbows. It was still brown of course…but I'd taken to straightening it rather than leaving it curled…though it was curled today naturally after my shower. I looked to him and saw pain in his eyes and I took a deep breath. I'd have to go in sooner or later…and it won't hurt any less later. I climbed out of the truck and he took my bags for me. I stopped at the door and opened it slowly. I stepped inside…kicking my shoes off. They disappeared in the wealth of shoes by the door and I could hear people talking in the living room. I took another breath and walked into the living room and stopped. I caught my dad's eye and broke apart. I felt like I was choking on my tears and he came to me, pulling me into a bone-crushing hug just like Jaxon had done in the airport. We stood there sobbing for a few minutes, not caring who was watching.

"Dad it hurts so much." I whispered and he nodded, his voice cracking through the tears.

"I know baby…I'm so sorry." He cried and I felt him pull away slowly.

"Where is he. I need to see him right now." I cried, looking desperately around the room and caught his eye. He came rushing towards me and pulled me into a hug.

"B I'm so sorry." Isaac whispered and I pulled him closer, endless tears streaming down my face. We stood in our embrace for a few minutes until he pulled back. I looked around the room through my tears and saw everyone.

Jacob, Rachel and Billy. Leah, Seth, Harry and Sue. Sam, Embry and Jared were here…along with their parents who were good friends with my dad. I saw Claire, Laura and their mom Pam in the corner. Everyone was watching me with tears in their eyes and streaming down their cheeks. And standing next to Sam, hardly recognizable was Paul. He looked to me with tearstains on his cheeks and I felt myself choke up more. Seeing him couldn't phase me right now though.

Isaac took me over to the couch and we sat down. Jaxon came and sat beside me too, putting his arm around me, Isaac taking my hand.

"When did it happen?" I choked out and the room went silent.

"About two this morning." Sam told me and I looked to him curiously. "I…I called for the ambulance." He said and I took a shaky breath and held his gaze.

"And he…" but I couldn't get it out. He took a deep breath and choked back his tears.

"There was nothing they could do, Bella. It was almost instant…I'm so sorry." I nodded, a fresh onslaught of tears gracing my cheeks. I leaned forward and put my head in my hands, sobbing until I couldn't breath.

He was gone…and there was nothing I could do. I heard myself yell into my hands, not bothering to control myself. Isaac leaned forward and put his arms around me and rocked me gently.

Tuck had been hit by a drunk driver last night when he was walking home from a friend's house…

And he's gone.

* * *

**Thank you for reading, I look forward to your reviews.**


	5. Red

**Hey guys! I appreciate the reviews you've been kind enough to give me. I do try to update faster the more I hear from my readers though so let me hear what you think!**

* * *

**Chapter Five: Red**

* * *

**Paul POV**

She came in…and I felt like all the oxygen had been beaten out of me. I watched as she met her dad's eyes and she just crumbled…and I couldn't hold my tears in any longer. I felt the dam break and I cried…watching the only girl I've ever…ever loved – fall apart. She then searched frantically for Isaac, her twin. He'd been a wreck since Sam called the Swan residence not long after the ambulance got there he said. Jaxon called me around seven this morning. He'd gotten ahold of Bella around six before she left for work.

This was never how I wanted to see her again…we all knew she'd be more than a wreck. I wasn't sure I could handle seeing her like this…

Now I knew I couldn't.

I hadn't cried yet…not until I saw her fall apart. That didn't mean I wasn't devastated…I was. Tucker was an amazing young man…the most loyal kid I've ever met. But I had the ability to hold it together. Not when it came to Bella though.

She'd changed quite a bit. Her hair was a lot longer…she'd finally grown it out like she'd always wanted to. Her face had matured in the last year and a half…though it was to be expected. Last time I saw her she was about to turn sixteen. She'd be eighteen this year. She hadn't grown any taller, still a short little thing…still just as tiny. I looked at her and felt like…like I'd missed out on so much.

Looking at her now…it hurt more than anything. She held onto Isaac for dear life for a few moments until she'd began to calm down. She pulled back and look around the room, settling finally on me. Making eye contact I could practically feel her pain…I felt desperate to console her…but I knew it wasn't my place anymore. I watched her sit on the couch with her brothers and my heart clenched painfully hearing her speak.

"When did it happen?" She asked, any strength in her voice long gone, and I watched Sam shift uncomfortably. He'd been on patrol when he'd been hit and he wasn't far off.

"About two this morning." Sam said and she turned her gaze to him. He cleared his throat. "I…I called for the ambulance." He said and she took a deep breath.

"And he…" but she stopped short. He took a deep breath and I heard tears in his voice.

"There was nothing they could do, Bella. It was almost instant…I'm so sorry." He told her and I watched her hit her low. She put her head in her hands and cried to the point of hollering out loud. I felt a few more tears fall from my eyes and I let my head fall. I felt arms around my middle and looked to see Claire, tears steadily streaming down her face too. She'd been in bed when Jaxon called and I went and got her up right after I hung up the phone. Her reaction hurt almost as much as Bella's.

* * *

"_Claire…Claire wake up." I shook her carefully and she groaned. It was only just after seven in the morning on a Saturday and she was not pleased._

"_Go. Away. Paul." She grumbled and I shook her again, keeping my voice soft._

"_Claire, hun you need to get up. Something bad happened." I told her and she dozily opened her eyes to look at me. Her face turned serious when she saw the look in my eyes._

"_What's going on?" She asked and I waited for her to sit up. I took a deep breath._

"_Claire…Tucker was…he was out late last night and was walking home alone. He…he was hit by a drunk driver." Her eyes went wide and she frantically flew out of bed and started throwing socks and a sweater on._

"_Oh my God… we...we need to call Bella. And get to the hospital right away. She's… she's going to want a play by play while she's on the way here and-"_

"_Claire… they already called Bella. She'll be on the next flight." I told her, cutting her off. She nodded and snatched her phone off the bedside table but I caught her hand._

"_Claire. Hun you need to sit down…" I told her and she shook her head._

"_No! We need to go now!" She said frantically and I stood up, holding her shoulders._

"_No. Claire…Tuck…he didn't make it." I told her and she looked up to my face in disbelief._

"_No…don't say that, Paul…" She said weakly and I shook my head._

"_Claire…he's gone." I told her again and her knees gave out. I held her up as she cried. After a few minutes she sobered enough to speak._

"_B-Bella's on h-her way?" She asked and I nodded. She wiped her face and nodded back._

"_We need to be there…f-for Charlie and the boys…a-and I want t-to be there when she…when she gets h-home." She told me and I nodded again, taking her in a hug._

"_We'll go over in a while. Jaxon is calling when they get back home. They…have some stuff to sort out at the hospital and police station." She nodded and sat down._

"_This…can't be happening." She said weakly and I knelt down in front of her._

"_Hey…look. We will get through this and we will do everything we can to make sure they do too. Alright? But we need to be strong for them." She nodded and sniffled._

"_Bella has to be a wreck." I felt my chest get heavy and fought to keep my composure. Just thinking about the state she must be in ripped me apart._

"_That's putting it lightly. Jaxon said she completely lost control. He had to call Renee and Phil to go to her place in Nashville because she wouldn't come back to the phone…all he could hear was screaming and crying." I told her and she cried a fresh stream of tears._

"_I need to be there for her." She said and I nodded, kissing her forehead,_

"_You will be, hun. I promise. You'd better call the others, alright? Jaxon said they'd have people over in a bit. Said Charlie didn't want to be alone." She nodded, reaching for her cell._

"_I love you, Claire." I told her and she gave me a big hug._

"_I love you too, Paul." She told me and I sighed. If only those words came that easy when I had_ her_ here…_

* * *

I watched Bella sit back into Jaxon's arm and sigh. She looked like she'd cried all she could at the moment. Her face was blank and she seemed to zone out.

Charlie had calmed too and was asking people if they wanted a drink refill. Sue stopped him and motioned for him to go sit with his kids. He sighed and nodded, approaching the couch.

"We uh…we have some stuff to do…tomorrow." He said sitting on the coffee table across from his now three children. It just looked incomplete…and they looked like they felt it. I could only imagine how they must feel…I know I'd be useless if I ever lost one of my sisters. Bella's face never changed. She just looked…lost.

"We have to go…pick out a…casket. And…and we need to meet with the funeral director about how we want it all set up…and we need to…you know…choose flowers and stuff. Bells…I thought you might be the best one for something like that." He said and she nodded, still zoned out.

"Yea…flowers." She said and he reached for her knee. She refocused at the contact and he patted her leg.

"We will get through this sweetie. Together. Alright?" He told her and she nodded, a few silent tears falling down her cheeks.

"And we are all here to help with anything you may need, guys." Sue told him and a few others verbally agreed.

"You guys won't need to do this alone." Billy told them with a nod to Charlie. He nodded with a sniffle.

"You guys…have shown my family great loyalty today. I can't thank you enough. From me and the kids…I…we couldn't do it without you." Everyone nodded and people fell into small conversation. Charlie got up and started talking to Sue, Harry and Billy. My sister and Leah went over to the couch and sat on the coffee table in front of Bella.

"Hey, Sweetheart." Claire said and Bella looked to them and threw herself into their arms. The three girls hugged and Jaxon and Isaac got up off the couch, leaving them to their moment.

"How you holdin' up?" Jaxon said, coming over to me. I gave him a look.

"Shouldn't I be asking you?" I asked him and he shrugged.

"It's not hard to guess how I feel. I'm curious about you." He told me and I sighed, glancing to Bella.

"I don't know. To be honest…I just…it's like I never even thought about the fact that she's back…I just…I've just been terrified to see her like this." He nodded and clapped my shoulder.

"You should talk to her. At least say hi and let her know things are alright on your end. I know Bella…it'll be like an alarm in the back of her mind if you don't." I nodded.

"I will… I just want to give her some time…" He smiled sadly to me and fell into conversation with Sam. I sat in the chair just listening to Bella chat with the girls. Her voice was hoarse and I could tell she'd been screaming…a lot. It reminded me of my talk with Jaxon this morning and I wasn't looking forward to being in his head later. None of us were.

I looked around to the guys in the room. Since Bella left for Nashville, Jacob, Jared and Embry have all made the change. And it was looking like Quil would too. A group of vampires just moved back to town permanently and it had set Embry off two weeks ago and Quil was bulking up fast. We were lucky Embry was so in control of his wolf…he hadn't been like me at all. He wasn't a very angry guy though, so that probably helped a lot. Now that Bella's family knew, things had gotten a lot more tight knit. Charlie knew and understood why I avoided Bella and he actually kept in touch with us if he was ever looking for witnesses or trying to find a scent trail. It had been a process, but they finally accepted that our world exists. I looked to Bella and saw her taking a glass of water Sue offered her and she thanked her.

Looking at her…I was nervous. I mean…a lot had changed since she left…we never actually "broke up"…it was always just implied. Of course I'd heard she had dated since then…I couldn't blame her. I knew she was single now though. I remember mailing her things back to her and sighed. I'd been so angry that she didn't reply to me…I'd wanted to reconcile…to see where we were at now that I knew I wouldn't be a danger to her. And I let my emotions get the better of me. I went on one of my Paul hissy fits and just threw everything that reminded me of her in a box and slapped an address on it. It was low of me…but I couldn't change it now. My only hope was that she'd take my apology and accept my offer to be civil for the time that she's here. Leah got up and went up the stairs to the washroom and I watched Claire disappear into the kitchen. We made eye contact and I felt my nerves spike. I looked to her and saw her eyes turn gentle…she gave me the faintest smile…it would have been almost impossible to notice if I didn't know my Red.

Red…I felt my heart clench at her nickname. She'd gotten it one day when we were driving home from busking in Seattle. It was a far drive…but she was 100% worth it. We'd been chatting about random things and she gave me her typical Bella sass. It was fantastic…I always deserved it and it was always entertaining. That day I looked at her and I said

"_You're red."_ She had laughed and complained that she wasn't blushing and I'd had to explain. She was Red…because she was sassy and bold. She smoldered with attitude…character…talent. And to top it off, Red is my favourite colour. And she's my favourite person. She'd gotten all lovey-dovey with me and kissed my cheek. I'd remember that day until I die. That was the day I'd realized that just like my favourite colour…my world would be bland and grey without her.

She broke our eye contact when Jacob had come over and given her a hug. They chatted for a bit and I got up to chat with Charlie and the guys in the kitchen.

"Paul, my boy. I…I wanted to ask. Would you be a paul-bearer? Tucker always adored you. You and Bella have been friends for so long…and then dated…and Tucker always thought of you like a brother." I looked to Jaxon and Isaac who were watching me and I nodded.

"Charlie…I'd be honoured." I told him and he clapped me on the shoulder.

"Come on boys. Let's go outside." He said and grabbed a few beers, passing one to each of us. It seemed he didn't care who was old enough today.

We stood outside for a little while, drinking our beers and chatting about random, meaningless topics when Bella and many of the others came out back, beers in hand. A few of the dads and Sam had brought cases of Charlie's favourite.

"I don't care." Bella said, looking to her dad and popping the tab. He shrugged and clinked her can.

"I want to make a toast." Charlie began. "To friends, family, and the one's we can't do without. Life is short and you never know when everything can change. So never hold back." He said and everyone voiced his or her sincerest agreement, some shedding silent tears. I looked and saw Bella take a swig of her beer and fall into discussion with Isaac. Charlie came up to me after making a round of the group.

"Alright. I've got you, Jacob, Sam, Harry, Phil, and Tuck's best friend David. He really wanted to be apart of this. You six are the paul-bearers and I was wondering if you could come over tomorrow night and I'll go over the details with you guys." I nodded, swallowing my mouthful of beer.

"Yea of course. If you guys need anything else…the pack and I are always here." I finished in a low voice. Most of the people here knew about the pack…but I didn't want to chance Bella hearing. This was _not_ the time. He nodded.

"Thanks…I'm sure there will be stuff to do. I don't really know…how to go about this stuff. I mean…when my parents went…I was still with Renee and she organized a lot of it for me." I nodded. It had to be difficult. Especially when it's his son.

"It's ok dad…I remember when Grandma Dwyer passed away. Mom was useless and I helped a lot." Bella said, coming up behind him. I made eye contact with her and nodded, she nodded back.

"Bells I don't want to over work you right now. You need time to heal." She nodded.

"I know…but…I want to make it as special as I can…he deserves it." She told him and I saw a few tears fall down her cheek. He tossed an arm around her and pulled her close to his side, kissing the top of her head.

"And it will be. You can count on it." He told her. He sighed and looked to each of us.

"I think we need another beer." I chuckled and thanked him, watching him walk away and leaving me with Bella.

"Hey…" I started and she looked up to my eyes.

"Hey…" She mirrored and I sighed.

"Look. There's so much going on right now…and all that's going through my mind is that…I don't want to distract you or argue…I don't want to make this about what happened…I want to make it about you and your family." She looked up to my eyes and I saw a flicker there…I'm not sure what it was…but it seemed kind and gentle…with an added dose of Red.

"I just…I want you to know that…I'm here." I finished, unsure of what else to say. I miss you? I wish you never left? I want another chance…_'no.'_ I told myself. I can't think like that anymore. She gave me a soft smile and sighed.

"Thank you…to be honest it hasn't even hit me yet that I'm home…but I don't want to fight either. I just…I just want to be with my friends and family." I nodded.

"I really wanted to thank you." She told me and I gave her a curious look. "Well…I see the way you've stayed close to my family…I heard you're a paul-bearer…I mean…I guess I want to say thank you…for helping my family through times like this. I really appreciate it." She said and I nodded.

"It's no problem really I-" but she cut me off.

"But it's a big deal to me. And I needed you to know." She said and my mouth fell into a small smile. I nodded back and she gave me a small smile of her own. She leaned forward, putting her hand on my forearm and tip-toed up to leave a small kiss on my cheek. I of course had to lean down to her so she could reach.

I watched her pull back and smile, walking over to Claire and Leah. They spent a bit of time catching up…light topics. I just stood still. I did my best to keep my face neutral…keep my body from tensing. But Bella had kissed me…had touched me.

In that moment I felt like…I needed to hold her. Get closer to her. Be everything she's ever needed.

When she touched me…I imprinted.

* * *

**Bella POV**

I sat on the couch with Isaac. Everyone had left about an hour ago…it had been a very long day. I looked to the clock and saw it was just after midnight and I sighed, leaning into Isaac, his arm around my shoulders.

"It's weird how things don't sink in until everyone's gone." I told him and he nodded against my head.

"I know…the house feels fuller now that you're home…and emptier all at the same time." I nodded against his shoulder.

"I know." I replied. Jaxon came into the living room and sat in the chair.

"It's really nice having you home Bella. Isaac hasn't looked this complete since you left." I smiled softly and closed my eyes.

"I haven't either." I said.

"And yet emptier." Isaac supplied and I nodded.

"Exactly." I finished and opened my eyes to see Jaxon smiling at us. He always loved our twin moments.

"You know what I miss?" I said and they both turned their attention to me. "Remember when we all used to climb into dad's bed and watch Saturday morning cartoons? He'd be at work and we'd all just stay in his room all morning until he came home on his lunch to see us." The guys nodded, a smile on Jaxon's face.

"Yea…he never quite trusted me to take care of the three of you." I laughed.

"Yea because you were usually the ring leader of bad ideas." I told him and he chuckled, mocking offense.

"Hey now. You weren't so innocent yourself." I smiled and shrugged.

"And yet I'm still the princess." I told him and Isaac chuckled.

"Yea, yea." He said and I sighed. After a few moments of silence I looked to Jaxon.

"Can we go watch TV in dad's bed?" I asked, tears threatening to fall. He looked at me and his eyes turned soft. He nodded and got up form his chair. Isaac and I got up too and they followed me up to dad's room. Dad was at the station making sure time off was covered and he said he needed to do a few minutes of paper work. We got into his room and I turned on a lamp. Jaxon grabbed the remote and flicked the TV on. None of us cared what we watched…it was more about the activity.

When we were little, Jaxon would lean against the headboard on the left side and Isaac and I would lay on our stomachs side by side on the right side, head propped up on our elbows. Tuck was little so he'd curl up on his side at Jax's feet. I looked to the bed and saw Jax and Isaac had taken their positions and I took a much-needed breath. I went around the bed to Jax's feet and curled up on my side, right where he used to lay. I put my head on Jax's leg and we watched late night sitcoms until we all fell asleep.

* * *

I woke up in the morning to sun cascading through the window and stretched, my legs hanging off the bed as I did.I could curl up into a ball just fine but truth be told, we didn't quite all fit on the bed like we used to. I sat up and looked to the guys and saw Jaxon sleeping on his back, Isaac sleeping on his stomach, and my dad on his side, sleeping on the edge of the bed. I looked to them all and sighed. I wasn't sure I had any tears in me today.

It's hard to explain…yesterday I could do nothing but cry…and today it's like…I was just heavy. Today was a day for getting things done…I could cry at the funeral…but I needed to get everything today perfect.

I looked at the clock: 8am. I got out of the bed and stretched again. I went to the bathroom and brushed my teeth and did my business. I went downstairs and opened the fridge. Perfect. I'd wake them up right, with a nice breakfast.

At around 8:30am Isaac and Jaxon came groggily down the stairs, smelling breakfast.

"Well would you look at this. Can you move home? Please? I'll pay you just as well to make bacon every morning." Isaac told me and I laughed, shaking my head.

"I highly doubt that." I told him, pouring them both a cup of coffee.

"How's that whole gig goin' anyway?" Jaxon asked me, sleep heavy in his voice. I shrugged.

"It's going really well actually. I've been in the studio a number of times…I have a few songs recorded and polished…a few still under review. The gigs pay alright money but not nearly enough to live on." He nodded and grabbed a plate.

"So what's the next step then?" He asked and I gave him some scrambled egg.

"Well the label paid for me to travel to a few radio stations this summer and I played two or three songs on there…nowhere huge though. Once the album is put together we can start sending it out to stations. My producer, Bob, was talking about possibly releasing a single soon. Try and get my name out there." He nodded.

"That's kind of cool, eh?" He asked and I nodded.

"Yea it is… I mean…the album shouldn't take any longer than another few months. Bob said first albums usually have eleven or twelve songs on them and I'm at seven if this last one pans out well. I've vetoed about five from being on the record so I'm being pretty choosy about the whole thing." He chuckled.

"Surprise, surprise." Isaac said and I laughed too.

"You have to be! It's not about quantity. It's all quality…I need to make people want a second album before I've even written for it." Jaxon winked to me as he took a piece of toast.

"Hey. I don't have any doubt." He told me and I smiled. I heard dad shuffling around upstairs and poured another cup of coffee.

"Morning." I told him as he came into the kitchen and he nodded, yawning.

"Morning." He said, taking his coffee. I made him a plate and we all sat down and had breakfast.

"I hate to get into this mode but…we have a lot to do today kids." He told us and we nodded.

"We have to meet the funeral director at one so I wanted to get to a few places before that. You think it's possible?" He asked and we nodded again. We were all silent for a few moments.

"So…how 'bout that sleepover." Isaac asked and I felt a smile come onto my face.

"I came into the bedroom last night around 1:30am and you were all passed right out." Dad said with a chuckle and I smiled to Jaxon. Dad didn't say anything else about it, we all just fell into simple conversation about work and the weather…but I could see it in my dad's eyes. He'd needed that last night…I think we all did. We were a family…and we needed each other now more than ever.

After I cleaned up from breakfast, with the guys help of course, I went upstairs to shower and get ready for the day – it was going to be a long one. I tossed on a pair of jean shorts and a black tank top, letting my hair curl naturally. I waited in my room while the other guys got ready and looked to my songbook and guitar. Of course…I never went anywhere without them. I heard something in my head…but I wasn't quite sure what it was. I grabbed my guitar and played a simple melody and recorded it on my phone. I wasn't sure what it would be yet…but I knew it would be Tuck inspired.

* * *

I lay in the middle of the living room carpet and sighed. It had been such a long day…and it was only six. I looked to Isaac asleep on the couch and I could hear Jaxon on the phone with someone…I wasn't really paying attention. Dad was at the kitchen table making a list of things that still needed to be done.

I heard a knock on the door and sighed, getting to my feet with a groan. I went to the door and opened it, looking up to see Jake's face. Not that I hadn't noticed yesterday…but it was like all the guys around here had caught onto a huge growth spurt. It made Paul's seem less weird that's for sure. I stood to the side, inviting the guys in. Jake, Paul, David, Harry, and Sam all came pouring into the house and I ushered them into the living room.

"Dad's just making a list of things we need to do…he'll come in here when he's done." I told them and they nodded, taking seats in the living room. I took my spot back on the floor and Jake laughed.

"Bella…what are you doing?" He asked and I groaned.

"Well…we all slept in dad's bed last night…and I slept in a ball…so I'm stretching my back after a long day." I told him and he chuckled again. The guys smiled at my story.

"You all slept in your dad's bed?" Harry asked and I nodded with a laugh.

"Yea…it was cute." I said seriously, though I broke into a smile right after. I heard Paul chuckle and I smiled. It was nice to hear that sound again.

"Sorry to leave you guys waiting I was just in the zone." My dad told them as he came into the living room they told him it was no problem and they got down to business.

"Alright. The funeral will be Tuesday morning at eleven, should go until about noon. Then we are headed to the cemetery and afterwards we are all coming back here for a wake barbeque. If you guys or the girls at home want to make something to bring, that'd be great…I'll take care of the burgers and hotdogs." He told them and they nodded.

"Sue will for sure make something…I'll get her to call you tomorrow." Harry said and Paul nodded.

"Yea my mom said yesterday to ask you when I came over today about what food she could bring to the wake…I guess she just assumed." My dad nodded.

"Just tell them to call and let me know…whatever they decide is fine." I lay on the floor listening to them until I felt my eyes go wide.

"Oh…oh….OH!" I yelled and threw myself up and ran to the stairs. I burst into my room grabbing my guitar, strumming a few chords. I played back what I had on my phone and threw my songbook open. I jotted down a few words…I'd finally gotten it.

* * *

**Paul POV**

"What the hell was that?!" Jake asked and I just chuckled.

"She got a song idea." I told him and he just looked to where she had left and shook his head.

"She's gonna break something moving that fast." He said and I only smiled. We could hear her upstairs of course…but I tried to give her some privacy.

"You guys don't…plan to tell her…right?" Charlie asked and Sam shook his head.

"No…not right now. There's too much on her plate." Sam told him and I felt my insides tighten. Bella…my imprint. She…she'll know someday. One day soon when she's back from making this record and I can explain things fully…I'd have her back. Well…I'd have what she'll give me. I'm sure it won't be anything more than friendship to start…but I hoped that one day she'll take me back. I know I didn't say it enough but…

I've never stopped loving her.

* * *

**Enjoy!**


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